I have been thinking a lot lately about the process of transformation and how letting-go is a key ingredient to it. When I think of letting go, I look at it through the lens of my experience, growth and journey to personal empowerment. To me it means being able to relinquish the past and stop worrying about the future in a way that helps me see the present moment clearer and reclaim the power I’ve always had within.
It is the path that allows love and most importantly self-love come forward unconditionally. To go with the flow…this was not always easy for me. My early conditioning had me believing that I had to be perfect in order to be loved. This belief carried through into adulthood and it wasn’t until I hit a huge heart break or shall I say a huge heart opening event that created a space for my own personal growth and letting go. Sometimes our heart needs to break a little to let the light of possibility and love to come through.
Letting-go takes time, patience and a commitment to ourselves. It means doing our best and NOT being attached to results, regardless of the outcome. Because when we are attached to the results and they do not meet our expectations, we set ourselves up for dwelling on them, feeling disappointment in ourselves and discouraged. All the “shoulds” come rushing in. I know for me so many “shoulds” would come to the surface and I felt paralyzed and all alone. Attachment is the FOE to LETTING-GO.
Letting-go does not mean that we give up on our goals and dreams, or that we erase difficult things that have happened to us, or that we turn off our feelings and tuck them away (And yes, I did all of this at certain times).
It means surrendering old worn out limiting beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and patterns of behavior that do not serve us well. Again, this takes time, patience and a commitment to ourselves to move in a positive healthy direction to gain the awareness to see what is holding us back from letting go.
Fear is one of the biggest locks that needs to be “picked” in order to let go. Because it is completely normal to feel afraid and anxious when we experience a heart opening event. Some of us (my past self included) also do not want to admit to feeling vulnerable. I was taught that being vulnerable meant I was weak. As I engaged in my own self-work, I came to the realization that being vulnerable and sharing my story was a strength. Sharing my story with others who also shared theirs was empowering. I wasn’t all alone in my struggle and my pain. The stories may not have been exactly the same but the thoughts, emotions and limiting beliefs were.
Making the decision to heal myself – to “let-go” was the best decision I have made for myself, no one else, just me. And yes, the benefits flow over to my family, my friends and my clients. Because I truly believe we MUST learn to love ourselves completely flaws and all – to be good to ourselves FIRST & not in a narcistic or negative way rather in a way that fills our well and keeps our well full so that when someone needs a drink we have one to give AND we also have water for ourselves.
I can’t tell you how many times in my past that I gave and gave and gave to everyone around me and not to myself. I carried a certain level of pride like a badge of honor that I could do it all and that I didn’t need anything from anyone. However, you can only do that for so long before something gives. In the end, I was left feeling exhausted, sad, angry and resentful. It affected my health physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I felt drained, empty, alone and I didn’t trust anyone including myself. Talk about feeling stuck!
My quest for letting go started so many years ago. Yoga was one of the first steps among many that led me to place of inner observation. I realized my focus for the years prior to yoga was on everything external. Coming within, doing the inner work and using all of the tools, lessons-learned, knowledge and experience I have gained over the years has been instrumental to unlocking fears, releasing limiting beliefs and ultimately transforming into the most empowered version of me to date. Is there more work to do? Yes always! I truly believe we must continue to grow, to evolve, to let go – for if not, we stay stuck, stagnant and die in certain ways.
Life is meant to be a happy, joyous ride and it can be if we are willing to do the inner work and let go.