Let’s start with self-care. Many of us think of self-care as self-love – we believe they are one in the same, but by definition they are very different. Self-care is an integral part of self-love.
Self-care means consciously and consistently nurturing ALL aspects of your own well-being – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Most of us think of self-care in the physical sense only but it is so much more.
It’s making sure you are taking the time you need to relax, recharge and restore yourself. Self-care provides a means to feel grounded, centered and at peace. It’s the self-awareness that you need time for yourself. This means being able to tune into when you need to take a break and give yourself some tender loving care.
The best thing about self-care is that it can take whatever form you choose and can be tailored to caring for your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Self-care practices may include meditation, exercise, nutrition, rest, relaxation, and my personal favorites – bubble baths & massages to name a few. ?
Self-care is a great pathway to self-love. It is the part of self-love that involves you taking care of you, as opposed to you taking care of others or allowing others to take care of you.
Self-love is a broader concept of which self-care is a part. Self-love is about cultivating gratitude and acceptance toward yourself physically, mentally & emotionally. It means loving yourself unapologetically, knowing that you are enough just as you are and letting go of the comparison mindset. It is living in the belief that you are worthy. Living in the space where you are grounded in a sense of your wholeness and adequacy.
Self-love is tied directly to self-worth – which is how we feel about our value. In fact, I believe self-worth is the foundation for which self-love is built upon. Our beliefs about our self-worth are developed through what I like to term as the “tribal” (family, friends, colleagues, community) messages we received and accumulated throughout our life – these can be conscious or subconscious. Beware some of these messages may not serve us well and impact our self-worth in negative ways. If we were constantly told that we were stupid, loud, messy, lazy, etc. we may believe these messages to be true and not feel worthy in a variety of ways and thus result with us not loving ourselves.
When we lack self-love, we are disconnected from the deepest part of ourselves. The awareness that we are love – love is our true nature. Recovering this connection to the true Self can be (re)established with a conscious commitment to cherish, protect, and nurture yourself, your life, and your inner path. Once the commitment is made, a journey of self-(re)discovery can begin. We must know ourselves to be able to recover the love for ourselves. So where do we begin?
First, we need to get to know ourselves well. We need to become curious and excited with discovering who we are, what we need and what we want out of life. This means exploring and identifying your interests, your needs and where you may need help. Connecting with all parts of yourself and employing great self-care. We must also develop new positive self-talk. We need to reprogram any of the “tribal” messages that were handed down to us and that do not serve us well.
Positive self-talk is a practice we develop over time and it is vital to building our self-worth and self-love. Positive self-talk will serve us well when we run into challenging moments in life that may pull us into what I refer to as “old brain” or back into the negative tribal messages. When we are under stressful conditions, it can be very easy to slip back into negative thinking, habits and behaviors. It is in these moments where being kind and compassionate to ourselves will see us through. We need to consciously choose to keep on loving ourselves over and over again.
When you know and understand yourself completely, self-love and self-care become much easier. So what does this look like in day-to-day life? It is knowing what you value, setting strong personal boundaries, choosing loving relationships, doing fulfilling work, learning new things, questioning your beliefs, planning for your future, dealing with your struggles head-on, being principled, asking for help, and keeping your stress levels in check. It’s being responsible for yourself in all ways. It’s doing no harm to yourself, and protecting yourself from harm. It requires never abandoning your own needs and always being there for yourself.
Self-love is the foundation to living a whole-hearted life.
A great exercise to test where you are with self-love is Mirror Talk:
- Start with 2 minutes (and work up to 20 ?)
- Look at yourself in the mirror – deeply into your eyes and repeat out loud
- (Insert your name) “I love and accept you exactly the way you are”
If you are feeling OMG there is no way I can do this, try it out anyway. If it still feels way too uncomfortable, this may be an indicator that some self-discovery work will benefit you.
If you need assistance with self-discovery and developing self-love practices, please consider life coaching services at Tranquil Heart Wellness, I would be delighted to support you. Contact Cindy at [email protected] or 585-703-9244 for more information. Start living your best life now!
With love, I wish you well on your journey to self-love!