Do you feel it was only dumb luck when you achieve something big? Does your confidence take a hit when you make a mistake? Do you fear asking for help because you may appear weak or incompetent? Do you have a high need to be perfect, otherwise you are not good enough? If you answered yes to any or perhaps even all of these questions you may be suffering from Imposter Syndrome.
Imposter syndrome is when you have persistent underlying doubt about your abilities and achievements. It’s when you feel like a fraud even though all the evidence proves otherwise. And worse, there is a fear that other people will find you out and expose you.
Ugh I can see why they call this a syndrome! When we experience these types of thoughts and feelings, we place so much pressure on ourselves – which in turn causes high levels of “dis-ease” in our nervous system. The impact on our nervous system is huge and shows up in a variety of ways. Ways that I have spoken about in some of my other articles. However, for today, I’ll keep the focus on Imposter Syndrome and the most frequent way it shows up for this syndrome is constant anxiety. Anxiety that comes with perfectionism and overachieving to ensure no one finds out you are a fraud. It sets up a cycle of do more be more to survive and eventually may lead to depression and other ailments.
So, what causes this syndrome? It all goes back to the messages we received early on in life. Our family upbringing, our cultural and societal messages of what is acceptable and not acceptable ways to behave play a big role in the development of this syndrome. For example, if you came from a family where only high achievement was acceptable, or your parents were super controlling and over-protective, or uber critical or there was a lot of conflict within the family – all of these messages and scenarios lay the groundwork for imposter syndrome to develop.
Can we get past this syndrome? Yes, we can. It means first and foremost becoming aware that we have the syndrome or the tendencies towards the syndrome. It means looking at and confronting what we believe about ourselves. It means questioning our thoughts about ourselves. It means processing our feelings – speaking them out loud, honoring them (not fighting them or pushing them down) and getting to the root of them. This takes some time and effort, but it is so worth it. Because when you are able to work through what is holding you back from feeling really good about what you do and who are, the mask dissolves, there is no more hiding and your authentic beautiful self is able to shine brightly.
So, who’s that behind the mask? You are!